Pokemon So Human-Like I’m Scared They’re Actually A Person In Disguise

Most of the time, Pokemon designs take their inspiration from animals, mythical creatures, or inanimate objects. However, throughout the hundreds of Pokemon created over the years, there’s a sprinkling of… human-like Pokemon.

These Pokemon are too human-like for their own good, to the point it feels weird to make them eat out of a bowl like a dog. It feels like they should be sitting at the table with you, but they can’t, because they’re still a Pokemon. It’s a very weird line. I’m still not completely convinced there isn’t a human secretly under the skins of the following Pokemon.

10

Mr. Mime

Everyone Knows Mr. Mime Is Ash’s Dad

Mr. Mime is the classic human-like Pokemon. It’s got a human face (though it is missing a nose), a human body, human hands, and it wears shoes. It even has ‘Mr.’ in its name.

Where’s the justice for the Miss Mimes, Mrs Mimes, Ms. Mimes, Mx. Mimes etc.?

The way Mr. Mime acts in the anime, like a loving family man to Ash and his mother, you can’t convince me that this Pokemon wasn’t once a man, cursed to be a weird, offputting mime forever. He puts burgers and sausages on the barbeque on Sundays. He reads the newspaper every morning. He’s dreaming about retirement and when his mortgage is fully paid off.

9

Machoke

Gym Bro

Machoke is about the same level of human-like as Mr. Mime, but in a completely different way. Where Mr. Mime bought his house for his family, Machoke bought it so it can store gym equipment.

There’s at least a few dumbbells in every room of the house, and a private gym in the basement. Machoke only drinks protein shakes, and its dinner consists of dry, plain chicken and broccoli. Gotta maximise those gains.

Machamp is also up there in the human-likeness category, but it loses points for the extra set of arms.

8

Gardevoir

Do You Want To See Your Future?

Gardevoir is clearly a spirit medium masquerading as a Pokemon. It has psychic abilities, which range from seeing into the future to creating black holes, so changing appearance doesn’t seem out of the question. It just has the energy of a spirit medium at a fair who reads your tarot and scams you out of your money.

Obviously, Gardevoir actually has the psychic powers needed to give you a proper reading, but I just feel like it would play around with those powers for fun. It just has a bit of a trickster energy about it. With all that money earned from scamming gullible believers, Gardevoir could easily be approved for a mortgage.

7

Jynx

Uncanny Valley

Jynx is definitely a human being who was cursed to be a creepy, dancing Pokemon forever. Numerous Pokedex entries say its cries “sound like human speech”, but what it’s actually saying is indecipherable. That’s the concept for a horror movie monster right there.

Imagine knowing you’re human, trying to speak, but just sounding uncanny instead. That’s what Jynx is going through. Nightmarish. I just hope Jynx has a nice house and a great mortgage deal to make it through that hellish existence.

6

Lucario

We All Know Lucario Is Just Someone’s Fursona

Have you seen the promotional images for the life-size plushes of Lucario? That’s not a pet; that’s a whole human being. While its facial features are based on a jackal, Lucario has a distinctly human aura. There’s just something knowing behind its eyes.

Lucario’s Pokedex entries even say it can understand human speech. When I look at it, I half expect it to start talking in a deep, calm voice. It’s still quite dog-like, though. It has the house and mortgage, but there are chew toys everywhere and it can’t resist a good doggy treat.

5

Mewtwo

I Don’t Feel Comfortable Calling Mewtwo Anything Less Than Human

Mewtwo is probably the human-like Pokemon. Going by the movies, it can understand and speak human language, and it feels human emotions like betrayal and loneliness. It just doesn’t feel right putting Mewtwo in the same category as something like Fidough. Fidough wants to play fetch; Mewtwo wants to ruminate on what it means to have consciousness.

That being said, Mewtwo’s disdain for the human world means it wouldn’t play by the rules. It could qualify for a mortgage, but why would it want one? It’s content to live with nature, rejecting the strict rules of human society.

4

Medicham

This Is Just What Yoga Teachers Are Like

Medicham is pretty much a yoga teacher. Instead of teaching you the downward dog, Medicham teaches you how to reach a higher state of consciousness through meditation. It goes for brunch after yoga, and picks up a matcha latte and granola bar. It goes on walks in the park with Gardevoir and Gothitelle.

Medicham leads a chill life and doesn’t need to be restricted by a Poke Ball. It would just need checking on every so often – apparently, it go for a whole month without eating because it’s too busy meditating.

3

Gothitelle

Goth Mom

Gothitelle is giving goth parent. It got into the goth subculture as a teen, and the phase never went away. Just look at that floor-length black dress, finished with white bows – that’s high gothic taste right there.

Gothitelle’s face is very human-like; its resting expression almost looks like it’s judging you for daring to be in its presence. I imagine it has a highly decorated home with ornate furniture, and it’s always immaculately clean, despite the little Gothita running around.

2

Armarouge & Ceruledge

Ghosts Trapped In Pokemon Bodies

Armarouge and Ceruledge are twins with opposite personalities. Armarouge is outgoing and sociable, where Ceruledge is reserved and a little mysterious. On top of their appearances obviously resembling a human-like figure, both their Pokedex entries in Scarlet & Violet reveal that they might be more human than other Pokemon.

Both Pokedex entries for the Pokemon reference their armour belonging to a warrior and swordsman of the past respectively:

• Armarouge evolved through the use of a set of armor that belonged to a distinguished warrior.
• The fiery blades on its arms burn fiercely with the lingering resentment of a sword wielder who fell before accomplishing their goal.

The souls of humans past trapped inside Pokemon… pretty spooky indeed.

1

Mr. Rime

There’s No Rime Or Reason Why It’s So Human

Mr. Rime is just a human man. That’s Ebeneezer Scrooge. Look at him! Even more so than Mr. Mime, I’m convinced Mr. Rime isn’t a Pokemon at all. He scrounges pennies and says, “Bah! Humbug.” And Game Freak wants me to think this creature eats out of a bowl like a dog? No.

Mr. Rime has special silver cutlery. It knows the difference between a dessert spoon and a regular spoon. It has fine china, in a fancy cupboard in its fancy house, which he pays a mortgage on.